The Incident at Ken's cafe
Ken’s restaurant was filled with the sound of football emanating from a hastily assembled TV. Tom Scalder watched aimlessly whilst wondering where the afternoon was going.
From the corner of his eye it seemed as if someone had just walked in, but the grimy half-glassed door seemed resolutely shut on closer inspection.
Scalder turned back to the half-time report, chasing toast with tea. It was several blinks before he realised the sound was distorting, crunching, then a great buzzing filled the world, a vibration felt in brain and bone.
Oblivious a man slipped into the joined plastic chairs opposite. The space around Scalder seemed to bulge and billow; his skin felt stretched then as if underwater.
the man, whose face was a blur through resonating retinas, reached over and grasped his wrist; time, thoughts ebbed and he became aware of two things: the protracted pulse under the stranger’s fingertips and the knowledge that there was no one in front of him.
“Don’t try to stand or leave; don’t make any sudden movements; try to breathe normally.”
The words came evenly, dispassionately, with the same square wave distortion, echoing to cold corners. the man’s mouth moved jerkily; his eyes strained, irises wild.
“I’m from the future – I’ve always wanted to say that – and I’ve got one chance to fix the Universe. By coming back here I’ve further destabilized the energy matrix and every second counts. I was working on a time travel device when I noticed fluctuations in the BG radiation level corresponding to my use of a tungsten Tesla coil. Then the BG began to go off the scale. I rang Cern and they confirmed my readings. It appears my efforts have altered the fabric of the Universe.”
Scalder nodded, barely understanding. Strange sensations were coursing through his mind and nervous system. A thought swam sluggishly out of his mouth.
“That’s b*ll*cks, isn’t it?”
the man’s face glazed over then snapped into focus, radiating hostility.
“No it’s not, Scalder, and if you want to see your next birthday you’ll co-operate.”
“So you know my name – what do you want, a big orange?”
The stranger’s youthful face paled and he looked momentarily flummoxed.
“When that pot of espresso boils the energy release will hasten the quantum wobble and entropic tendencies will exponentially increase around it.”
Scalder’s eyes drifted, refocused on a battered metal hourglass on the open-plan kitchen’s hob. The owner looked confused, irritated, but Tom knew he always appeared that way; Ken floated towards the percolator as friends do in dreams.
Gouts of steam oozed uncannily out of the v-shaped spout, dragons curved and dissipated and the air around began to shimmer like the petals of an orchid.
Ken looked freaked now, his hand moving inexorably, automatically to grasp the black handle, which began to coruscate with green neon highlights. As his fingers closed his eyes twitched down to his hand. The TV fizzed and crackled; the other patrons finally realised something was going on and a couple had started to rise from their chairs.
Ken’s hand rippled and red lesions burst from his knuckles – the sweaty restauranteur let out an alarmed yell and wrenched his hand back; as he did so, a sparkle coalesced in the air and whipped in a tight spiral over the stove, building up blinding speed before hitting a rack of plates with an almighty smashing. Another quickly followed, with a different trajectory, curling obliquely into Ken’s shoulder.
Ken reacted as if shot, his feet leaving the vinyl floor accompanied by a trail of blue lightening. Screams rang out as Ken’s passage left a wake of destruction, pans flying and knives spinning with curious velocity.
Tom swung round to the passive man, his mouth open.
“What on God’s Earth is happening?”
“I’ll explain in a minute, follow me”
He rose awkwardly and walked to the rear of the caff, eddies of cold air springing in his wake.
Scalder hesitated, trying to work out what the hell he had to do with any of this, but the flashes of unnatural heat striking his face and the rising chaos made up his mind.
Standing was like lifting bar-bells; pins and needles struck his extremities and he knocked over a cup of cold coffee. The liquid fell from the table and twirled into crystalline plates.
the man, who now seemed to be wearing blue overalls, was waiting by the toilet doors.
“If anyone else see what happens next we’re screwed. Unplug that microwave and then go in there.”
His finger flicked towards the door of the women’s toilet.
“You’re having a laugh, right?”
“Believe me I wish I were”
Tom pushed against what felt lie a squall and yanked out the cable, more glittering lines of light following the plug’s pins. He heaved the cumbersome metal box off the counter unnoticed.
The weight seemed to lessen as he reached the toilet door, which he opened stiffly and backed into. Cool florescence refracted from tiles inside.
“Set it down on the wash stand and step over here.”
the man pointed at an orange suitcase which pulsated oddly.
“Open that up and take out the yellow device. Plug the microwave into it.”
Tom knelt down and sprang the locks of the suitcase, revealing a foam filled interior. A yellow, plasticky box was embedded next to a thin, wafer of some translucent material. He plucked the cube and saw an incongruous three pin socket on one side. Once attached, the microwave dutifully sprang to life, its display blinking moronically.
“Now put the actuator inside the microwave”
the man gestured to the strange wafer. Scalder complied, eyeing tm suspiciously.
“This is very f*cked up” commented Scalder, wiping his face of non-existent moisture.
“It’s about to get a lot worse, believe me”
The stranger pointed back at the suitcase.
“Inside the upper portion you’ll find another device. Please take it out.
Hidden in a zip-locked pocket was a weird looking bronze contraption. This unfolded into something like a music stand. While Tom wrestled with various screws and telescopic rods, the man gushed out a kind of confession.
“The guys over at CERN think I’ve somehow lassoed an alternate U, the helix of charge particles I created pulling another reality closer to ours. The alternate I’ve aligned with ours is influencing the fundamental principles governing mater and energy in our Universe.”
A blaring noise identifiable in some unknown way as the sound of a vacuum tube exploding interrupted his monologue and Tom’s concentration. Tom moved to investigate.
“Don’t open the door Tom; things are pretty bad out there.”
Tom turned.
“Look, whatever’s going on I can’t see how you or anyone can stop it.”
“What you’re doing in here is the only way to prevent this escalating; if you want to save yourself, and that girl from the clinic you’ve had you eye on, I suggest you comply with me.”
the man rolled back his sleeves to reveal a golden armband.
Right, on my mark, turn on all the taps, then press start on the microwave. 5… 4… 3…”
“Wait, wait. Whatever’s going to happen next I can tell it’s going to be bad. At least tell me why it’s happening to me why it’s here and now.”
“If it means you’ll do as I ask, I suppose I have no\ choice. The intrusion of the alternate is not causal, presumably because that sphere has a different kind of time to us. Chaos broke out after my experiments but it was already old. I realised many phenomena which had happened in my relative past were the result of my work – earth\quakes, disappearing ships, freak accident. Signs appeared with emergency instructions I knew from memory, yet I also knew deep down that I’d never seen the signs before…”
“Cut to the chase – why me?”
“I tracked down the earliest disturbance I could risk projecting to. Travel too far and I risked reducing my mind to mulch. You were reported as a casualty of the events now going on outside. Your obituary mentioned your stint as a science reporter…”
“But that was 5 years ago…”
the man raised an eyebrow.
“Would you rather be outside?”
“God no...”
“Enough we have to get going”
He strode over and stood beside Scalder.
“Going where?”
“You’ll see soon enough” The stranger indicated the taps. “Go!”
Tom turned on the taps, then bent down and pressed the smeared switch. Immediately the glass plate began turning and iridescent veins lit up within the peculiar chip.
The gushing water writhed and sent up shards of ice and steam. Jack Frost breathed on the greasy mirrors, ice crystals spread rapidly in abnormal blooms. The bronze contraption began to rotate, sucking water vapour out of the air.
“What’s happening to the water,” shouted Scalder over a growing hum.
“The pseudo chaotic motion of the water makes it an ideal conduit for entropy. The chip in the microwave is amplifying the effects of the process which already started with my arrival.”
“What? That sounds like your trying to make thing worse!”
The music stand span crazily, sending out shrill wince making squeaks.
“I am” said the man as everything went black, and all sound disappeared.
Scalder wasn’t dead though or at least he hadn’t stopped thinking.
An image of the man appeared, waxy in blackness.
“You were right actually” The words resounded deep in Scalder’s mind.
Tom spoke aloud but no sound emerged.
“what the hell do you mean?”
“That story about the time machine and me being a scientist – it was b*ll*cks.”
“Then who the hell are you, and where in God’s name are we?”
The image stuttered and blackness threatened to crawl up Scalder’s optic nerve and eat his brain.
“I... well we… are an entity from that other Universe I mentioned, the one merging with yours. The process is, as far as we can tell, natural and accidental. The effects on our energy network have been catastrophic and googlebytes of lifedata have already ceased to exist. This projection was sent into your continuum to change things. You see the only way to save our Universe is to change the N-space trajectory of yours.”
“Any minute now the lights’ll go on and someone’ll shout ‘surprise’” Tom thought to himself
The entity smiled.
“No I don’t think they will. That brings us to where you are. Nowhere and nowhen – this, as they say, is where it all begins”
The man looked down at his armband.
“Well can’t stay, time waits for no machine. Just wanted to say thanks and goodbye.”
“It’s ‘time waits for no man’ actually, and you can’t just leave me here.”
“Sorry, but we have to. Your mass is all that’s needed to affect the laws of your Universe. With it, the gravitational pull of the early cosmos will be too great, allowing the matter to contract and... “
The entity raised its hand and blew imaginary dust towards Scalder.
“No more Universe for you, no more cataclysms for us.”
The entity smiled sadly.
“Shame really, we’ve come to enjoy your metaculture as we’ve struggled to integrate ourselves, but heh, you can’t make an opera without breaking eggs.”
The stranger looked at Tom, imploringly, with a winning smile seemingly in the hope that Scalder will get his simile.
“Its omelets, you idiot.”
And with that creation began.
From the corner of his eye it seemed as if someone had just walked in, but the grimy half-glassed door seemed resolutely shut on closer inspection.
Scalder turned back to the half-time report, chasing toast with tea. It was several blinks before he realised the sound was distorting, crunching, then a great buzzing filled the world, a vibration felt in brain and bone.
Oblivious a man slipped into the joined plastic chairs opposite. The space around Scalder seemed to bulge and billow; his skin felt stretched then as if underwater.
the man, whose face was a blur through resonating retinas, reached over and grasped his wrist; time, thoughts ebbed and he became aware of two things: the protracted pulse under the stranger’s fingertips and the knowledge that there was no one in front of him.
“Don’t try to stand or leave; don’t make any sudden movements; try to breathe normally.”
The words came evenly, dispassionately, with the same square wave distortion, echoing to cold corners. the man’s mouth moved jerkily; his eyes strained, irises wild.
“I’m from the future – I’ve always wanted to say that – and I’ve got one chance to fix the Universe. By coming back here I’ve further destabilized the energy matrix and every second counts. I was working on a time travel device when I noticed fluctuations in the BG radiation level corresponding to my use of a tungsten Tesla coil. Then the BG began to go off the scale. I rang Cern and they confirmed my readings. It appears my efforts have altered the fabric of the Universe.”
Scalder nodded, barely understanding. Strange sensations were coursing through his mind and nervous system. A thought swam sluggishly out of his mouth.
“That’s b*ll*cks, isn’t it?”
the man’s face glazed over then snapped into focus, radiating hostility.
“No it’s not, Scalder, and if you want to see your next birthday you’ll co-operate.”
“So you know my name – what do you want, a big orange?”
The stranger’s youthful face paled and he looked momentarily flummoxed.
“When that pot of espresso boils the energy release will hasten the quantum wobble and entropic tendencies will exponentially increase around it.”
Scalder’s eyes drifted, refocused on a battered metal hourglass on the open-plan kitchen’s hob. The owner looked confused, irritated, but Tom knew he always appeared that way; Ken floated towards the percolator as friends do in dreams.
Gouts of steam oozed uncannily out of the v-shaped spout, dragons curved and dissipated and the air around began to shimmer like the petals of an orchid.
Ken looked freaked now, his hand moving inexorably, automatically to grasp the black handle, which began to coruscate with green neon highlights. As his fingers closed his eyes twitched down to his hand. The TV fizzed and crackled; the other patrons finally realised something was going on and a couple had started to rise from their chairs.
Ken’s hand rippled and red lesions burst from his knuckles – the sweaty restauranteur let out an alarmed yell and wrenched his hand back; as he did so, a sparkle coalesced in the air and whipped in a tight spiral over the stove, building up blinding speed before hitting a rack of plates with an almighty smashing. Another quickly followed, with a different trajectory, curling obliquely into Ken’s shoulder.
Ken reacted as if shot, his feet leaving the vinyl floor accompanied by a trail of blue lightening. Screams rang out as Ken’s passage left a wake of destruction, pans flying and knives spinning with curious velocity.
Tom swung round to the passive man, his mouth open.
“What on God’s Earth is happening?”
“I’ll explain in a minute, follow me”
He rose awkwardly and walked to the rear of the caff, eddies of cold air springing in his wake.
Scalder hesitated, trying to work out what the hell he had to do with any of this, but the flashes of unnatural heat striking his face and the rising chaos made up his mind.
Standing was like lifting bar-bells; pins and needles struck his extremities and he knocked over a cup of cold coffee. The liquid fell from the table and twirled into crystalline plates.
the man, who now seemed to be wearing blue overalls, was waiting by the toilet doors.
“If anyone else see what happens next we’re screwed. Unplug that microwave and then go in there.”
His finger flicked towards the door of the women’s toilet.
“You’re having a laugh, right?”
“Believe me I wish I were”
Tom pushed against what felt lie a squall and yanked out the cable, more glittering lines of light following the plug’s pins. He heaved the cumbersome metal box off the counter unnoticed.
The weight seemed to lessen as he reached the toilet door, which he opened stiffly and backed into. Cool florescence refracted from tiles inside.
“Set it down on the wash stand and step over here.”
the man pointed at an orange suitcase which pulsated oddly.
“Open that up and take out the yellow device. Plug the microwave into it.”
Tom knelt down and sprang the locks of the suitcase, revealing a foam filled interior. A yellow, plasticky box was embedded next to a thin, wafer of some translucent material. He plucked the cube and saw an incongruous three pin socket on one side. Once attached, the microwave dutifully sprang to life, its display blinking moronically.
“Now put the actuator inside the microwave”
the man gestured to the strange wafer. Scalder complied, eyeing tm suspiciously.
“This is very f*cked up” commented Scalder, wiping his face of non-existent moisture.
“It’s about to get a lot worse, believe me”
The stranger pointed back at the suitcase.
“Inside the upper portion you’ll find another device. Please take it out.
Hidden in a zip-locked pocket was a weird looking bronze contraption. This unfolded into something like a music stand. While Tom wrestled with various screws and telescopic rods, the man gushed out a kind of confession.
“The guys over at CERN think I’ve somehow lassoed an alternate U, the helix of charge particles I created pulling another reality closer to ours. The alternate I’ve aligned with ours is influencing the fundamental principles governing mater and energy in our Universe.”
A blaring noise identifiable in some unknown way as the sound of a vacuum tube exploding interrupted his monologue and Tom’s concentration. Tom moved to investigate.
“Don’t open the door Tom; things are pretty bad out there.”
Tom turned.
“Look, whatever’s going on I can’t see how you or anyone can stop it.”
“What you’re doing in here is the only way to prevent this escalating; if you want to save yourself, and that girl from the clinic you’ve had you eye on, I suggest you comply with me.”
the man rolled back his sleeves to reveal a golden armband.
Right, on my mark, turn on all the taps, then press start on the microwave. 5… 4… 3…”
“Wait, wait. Whatever’s going to happen next I can tell it’s going to be bad. At least tell me why it’s happening to me why it’s here and now.”
“If it means you’ll do as I ask, I suppose I have no\ choice. The intrusion of the alternate is not causal, presumably because that sphere has a different kind of time to us. Chaos broke out after my experiments but it was already old. I realised many phenomena which had happened in my relative past were the result of my work – earth\quakes, disappearing ships, freak accident. Signs appeared with emergency instructions I knew from memory, yet I also knew deep down that I’d never seen the signs before…”
“Cut to the chase – why me?”
“I tracked down the earliest disturbance I could risk projecting to. Travel too far and I risked reducing my mind to mulch. You were reported as a casualty of the events now going on outside. Your obituary mentioned your stint as a science reporter…”
“But that was 5 years ago…”
the man raised an eyebrow.
“Would you rather be outside?”
“God no...”
“Enough we have to get going”
He strode over and stood beside Scalder.
“Going where?”
“You’ll see soon enough” The stranger indicated the taps. “Go!”
Tom turned on the taps, then bent down and pressed the smeared switch. Immediately the glass plate began turning and iridescent veins lit up within the peculiar chip.
The gushing water writhed and sent up shards of ice and steam. Jack Frost breathed on the greasy mirrors, ice crystals spread rapidly in abnormal blooms. The bronze contraption began to rotate, sucking water vapour out of the air.
“What’s happening to the water,” shouted Scalder over a growing hum.
“The pseudo chaotic motion of the water makes it an ideal conduit for entropy. The chip in the microwave is amplifying the effects of the process which already started with my arrival.”
“What? That sounds like your trying to make thing worse!”
The music stand span crazily, sending out shrill wince making squeaks.
“I am” said the man as everything went black, and all sound disappeared.
Scalder wasn’t dead though or at least he hadn’t stopped thinking.
An image of the man appeared, waxy in blackness.
“You were right actually” The words resounded deep in Scalder’s mind.
Tom spoke aloud but no sound emerged.
“what the hell do you mean?”
“That story about the time machine and me being a scientist – it was b*ll*cks.”
“Then who the hell are you, and where in God’s name are we?”
The image stuttered and blackness threatened to crawl up Scalder’s optic nerve and eat his brain.
“I... well we… are an entity from that other Universe I mentioned, the one merging with yours. The process is, as far as we can tell, natural and accidental. The effects on our energy network have been catastrophic and googlebytes of lifedata have already ceased to exist. This projection was sent into your continuum to change things. You see the only way to save our Universe is to change the N-space trajectory of yours.”
“Any minute now the lights’ll go on and someone’ll shout ‘surprise’” Tom thought to himself
The entity smiled.
“No I don’t think they will. That brings us to where you are. Nowhere and nowhen – this, as they say, is where it all begins”
The man looked down at his armband.
“Well can’t stay, time waits for no machine. Just wanted to say thanks and goodbye.”
“It’s ‘time waits for no man’ actually, and you can’t just leave me here.”
“Sorry, but we have to. Your mass is all that’s needed to affect the laws of your Universe. With it, the gravitational pull of the early cosmos will be too great, allowing the matter to contract and... “
The entity raised its hand and blew imaginary dust towards Scalder.
“No more Universe for you, no more cataclysms for us.”
The entity smiled sadly.
“Shame really, we’ve come to enjoy your metaculture as we’ve struggled to integrate ourselves, but heh, you can’t make an opera without breaking eggs.”
The stranger looked at Tom, imploringly, with a winning smile seemingly in the hope that Scalder will get his simile.
“Its omelets, you idiot.”
And with that creation began.
posted by Dot23 at 12:49 AM
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